Finding Better Kink Instruction

Finding Better Kink Instruction

In the wake of Fifty Shades of Grey, it seems like kink has taken over the Internet. A Google search of the phrase “BDSM education” turns up over 12,000,000 entries. With so many people claiming to be “experts,” how do you start your journey in kink safely? Who can help you acquire a solid foundation that will serve you for the rest of your erotic life?

When I began learning to embody my versatile kinky desires, there was no Internet. I join the Society of Janus and volunteered. Times sure have changed! If I was new to these explorations of consent and power I too could get lost in the tidal wave of kink that is flooding the Net.

If I were just starting today, and wondering if someone was a genuine and ethical BDSM educator, here is what I’d ask:

      • Is this BDSM educator a lifestyle player or is s/he just trying to cash in on the kinky trend of Fifty Shades of Grey?
      • How long has this person been in the Scene?
      • Is s/he active in her local leather/kink community?
      • Is s/he clear about why s/he has chosen this work?
      • Does s/he credit others in the community for their contributions?
      • What do others with long standing in the community have to say about this person?
      • Is s/he published or interviewed by others about her passion and understanding of Kink?
      • Does s/he focus only on technique or does s/he understand the emotional and spiritual aspects of BDSM?
      • Is s/he concerned about the individual needs of students? How much does s/he want to know about you?
      • If s/he teaches a course that requires significant time/money, does she offer a phone number so that you can see how you feel about one another before you commit?
      • Does s/he talk about BDSM’s capacity for personal empowerment & healing?
      • Does she teach from the perspective of integrating sexuality, heart and spirit?
This post was written by
A ritualist, BDSM educator & kinky coach, I founded the Academy of SM Arts in 1995 to share with others what I had learned since beginning my journey into BDSM in the 80's - that negotiated sadomasochism is a valid path to self-discovery, intimacy and healing.

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