Meet Me in Denver for Thunder in the Mountains 20th Anniversary!

 

Rituals of Authentic Power Play

It’s not what we do but how we do it that makes sparks fly! Feel your desire. Tune into your own intuition – who occupies your inner landscape? Who do you embody and how do you do that? Seductive, Predatorial, Sadistic? And who are you playing with? Slave, Pet, or Trickster?Think it doesn’t matter? How we connect our heat heart and spirit in BDSM play fuels our erotic energies to make our scenes soar! In this class, we’ll venture down the hall of mirrors; in our reflections are the many ways to be! Come ready for a little participation, a fiery demo and a bit of ritual!Step into a role your way and deepen your play relationships with presence and passion!Sex magicians, seducers, queens, kings, princesses, knights, sadists, sexy sluts, pain sluts, pets and more…all welcome!

Panel Discussion – Pioneers, Settlers and Descendants

Join community Elders Skip Chasey, Cleo Dubois, Mark Frazier, Lolita Wolf and Ms Cynthia, as we share our thoughts and feelings about our journey, why we come out long ago in BDSM, and where the larger community is heading.The times, they are a-changing. Again. We owe it to ourselves to look ahead with eyes wide open.

BDSM is my lifelong passion. A Dominant Woman who also enjoys bottoming, a community player and ritualist, I learned that consensual BDSM is a valid path to self-discovery, intimacy and sexual healing.

Out into SM in the early 80s, Leather Conferences and groups such as LIL, NLA, Outcasts, Janus, Exiles, and Thunder In The Mountains gave me a voice as an ethical kink presenter. In 1995 I founded the Academy of S/M Arts to pass on what I had experienced with such mentors as Cynthia Slater, Joseph Bean, Mark Thompson, and my life partner, Fakir.

My 2000 award-winning docufilm “The Pain Game,” noted for its authenticity in embodying the spirit of connected SM play has become a classic. Published in many non-fiction lifestyle books, I now blog at www.cleodubois.wordpress.com … In 2008 I became part of the Living Leather Heritage of the SWLC. In 2014 was inducted into the Society of Janus’ Hall of Fame. I received along with Race bannon the key to the Folsom Street Fair along with Race Bannon in 2015. For the last 15 years I have offered Erotic Dominance Intensives weekends for Tops and those who switch in San Francisco at the SF Citadel.

And I am honored and happy to return to Thunder for its 20th year! Learn more about me at www.cleodubois.com and on www.sm-arts.com Thank you!

Kink in the Country!

cleo NOWBoundless 2016

I will be one of the presenters at Kink in the Country at the second year of Boundless!  Please join me in community for a weekend of relaxation and play September 30-October 2,

Check out the entire line up in the full Boundless 2016 Agenda and get tickets at http://www.boundlessevents.org/classes-workshops-events-20…/

They are extending a special discount for my friends.  Get 10% off tickets when using the code “CleoFriends”   

Have questions or want to connect with other attendees? Check out the Boundless Fetlife Group.
Boundless 2016 will be held at Saratoga Springs the weekend after Folsom Street Fair  http://bit.ly/2af8m2I

Cléo and Tristan Taormino On The Radio!

Cléo and Tristan Taormino On The Radio!

Click here to listen to Cléo’s conversation with Tristan Taormino on SexOutLoudRadio.com!!

Friday, September 13…live on SexOutLoudRadio.com Cleo joined award winning author, speaker, sex educator and filmmaker Tristan Taormino and they explored the world of sexuality from every angle on her radio show Sex Out Loud™ on the Variety Channel of the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. Tristan’s interview with Cléo delves into the history and depth of BDSM play.  Tune in for a fascinating hour on a wide range of topics from the popular to the taboo, including erotic fantasies, compassionate sadism, healing in play and more.  Open your mind and expand your erotic horizons.

A listener wrote Tristan:

Cléo Dubois was hands down one of the most informative interviews I have listened to. Rarely have I ever heard someone speak with so much eloquence and simplicity on such a complex topic. It was fascinating from an historical perspective and incredibly helpful from a personal one too.
Sean

Kiss of Leather, Tongues of Fire: the Richer Territories of BDSM

Kiss of Leather, Tongues of Fire: the Richer Territories of BDSM

In my first video, “The Pain Game” the connection between Creed (my beautiful masochist) and me allowed both of us to fly in shamanic S/M play.

This article is excerpted from a longer interview that was originally published on Alt.com in 2004.  In it, I  address some of those richer, darker and more transcendent territories to which our BDSM journeys can us. Topics include the dance of flogging, achieving good bondage play, what to do when a scene stops working, how to safely push personal boundaries, claiming your power, and the role of ritual and spiritual power in BDSM.


 

AFF: People just beginning their explorations of BDSM may not be aware of the many flavors it can have — for example, erotic, spiritual, BDSM for personal growth, BDSM as art, and so forth. How do all these aspects of BDSM fit into your own approach to play?

DUBOIS: For me, BDSM is about hot erotic explorations, personal growth, healing, connecting with others, and spirituality. We need big pleasure that connects us to ourselves and to the Divine. That pleasure (or should I call it pain/pleasure/surrender) I have found in the erotic rituals we call S/M. Doing a scene with trust and mutual respect can not only increase intimacy with our partner(s).  It also opens the door to our inner spaces and allows our spirits to soar.

AFF: What are some things that people may not be aware of when it comes to learning one’s own or a partner’s boundaries?

DUBOIS: A good thing to keep in mind is to go slowly.  People are not aware that boundaries can come up very unexpectedly and be triggered by multiple missteps: the wrong tone of voice, wrapping the whip and not being aware of it, bad timing on the part of the Dominant, fear of hurting your partner, fear of not pleasing your partner and many more. It is always important to keep in mind that it is the submissive who enables the power exchange. A satisfying, sexy balance needs to be found to make it work for both partners.

AFF: Is it possible that a sub goes along with something, not really aware of their personal boundaries, only to have after-shocks?

DUBOIS: Of course it’s possible. Any scene could go wrong or need to be cut short. We are playing with sex and power. Even a Top can hit one of His/Her limits and push themselves beyond it, only to regret it later. Play involving embarrassment and slapping, for instance, can bring up bad memories and by surprise, take the players out of the erotic realm.

With open and honest communication, people can face difficult repercussions with a loving and caring attitude. Guilt and resentment, that’s what gets in the way of healing, and keeps us from being as adventurous as we might otherwise want to be. Leave your partner wanting more rather than taking them to an edge too fast. Again go slowly.

AFF: Can you keep your play purely recreational so that issues like these do not come up?

DUBOIS: If by “purely recreational” you mean only light and fun play, then you must try to negotiate only light and fun things to do and keep your play to only those activities. A couple of examples are a simple role reversal scene where the woman is the leader in sex play and says, “Do this; now, do that,” and the man asks, “Please tie me up, Honey and do sexy things to me.”

These “purely recreational” scenes can awaken deeper, hotter desires in both participants. And then you cross over into the world of ritual intensity and real power exchange where buttons can easily get pushed. This is not “kindergarten” sex. This is sophisticated sex/power play.

The secret of successful kinky play is open and honest communication. It is difficult for many of us to communicate our erotic needs. If issues should arise between two consenting partners, do not blame the other for the scene not working. Stop and take a break. It is extremely important to just listen to each other rather than pointing the finger for either pushing too hard, being insensitive, not reading your body language right, not playing the game right, etc. After all, we’re not mind readers. Taking risks is part of play.

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Next: Video clip of ritual, on the BDSM/ritual link, running energy, the dance of the flogger >>>

Cléo on SM and Spirituality

Cléo on SM and Spirituality

SM allows us to look in all the dark places in a consensual environment… I find a lot of healing there. ~ Cléo Dubois

The following interview is excerpted from a longer piece titled “SCENEprofiles Interview with Cléo Dubois,” published in a section of Sensuous Sadie’s website that is dedicated to the intersection of the spirit and sado-erotic.

SENSUOUS SADIE: You have been in the lifestyle for twenty years. How has your practice changed over this time?

CLÉO DUBOIS: When I first discovered my sadistic Dominant side, I was very raw. My enthusiasm probably scared a number of submissives. In fact, many years later when I got on the Internet, men wrote me that they never forgot me and told me just that. “You scared me, but now I am ready for your intensity!”

While I am still an intense player, I have also become more nurturing, more intuitive and more understanding of people’s need to be accepted for their fantasies and kinks, regardless of how bizarre they might think they are. I have expanded my boundaries and explored practices that I never thought I would enjoy when I began this journey 20 years ago. I feel I have grown and embraced all the various facets of who I am. Perhaps the most important on-going lesson for me is to come from a place of integrity and compassion. This has helped greatly in my transition from Domina to Kink Educator and Private Coach.

Sadie: Many of the people who visit you want a big or shamanistic experience. How do you go about bringing this aspect of BDSM play into a scene?

Cléo: Well, SM players do not often call it a ‘shamanic experience.’ They simply want a great scene; they want to get out of their head. In a way, when we enter scene space, we can potentially have a spiritual body experience.

Let me give you just one example. My first video, The Pain Game, received much acclaim in the Leather and Queer community because the piercing and clothespins scenes resonated with many kinksters. The connection between Creed (my beautiful masochist) and me allowed both of us to fly in shamanic S/M play. When I pulled a feathered zipper off her back, Kali energy was running through me. I felt the destructive energy that is also loving. I also felt the symbolic removal of her ‘skin’ as a necessary part of growth and transformation.

Sadie: When did you first start exploring the connection between BDSM & spirituality? Was there a particular experience or moment that set you on this path?

The Queen of Swords, Card from "The New Tarot Deck" by Jack Hurley, Rae Hurley and John HorlerCléo: Yes, my first private experience as a fantasy slave girl connected my sexuality and my budding spirituality. The man that initiating me in ritual bottoming was Jay Magus. He was trained in Gestalt work and transpersonal analysis from the famous Esalen Institute. He was very sensitive, kind and sexy. I had met him, his wife and his slave girl at the Society of Janus. I also became friends with both women.

The day of my big scene, he started by ordering me to draw a Tarot card from a desk he had been involved in creating. I picked the Queen of Swords. He placed two of his swords in my hands and had me hold them like the image on the card for as long as I could while looking at myself in the mirror of a dimly lit room. When I finally put the swords down, I was ready to submit to him. My long meditation on the Queen of Swords ended when the pain of holding the swords had become unbearable. I was in a trance then, ready to learn and give up control. He was strict, gentle and practiced service to the Lady; the Goddess Archetype. His Dominance was also part of his spiritual path.

Sadie: What spiritual or BDSM practices help take you there? For example: yoga, meditation, Kundalini, Tantra etc

Cléo: Centering! Being fully present! Breathing! Breathing! Breathing! And guiding my bottom to do the same.

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Next, what Cléo has learned from coaching couples >>>


 

“Queen of Swords” from The New Tarot Deck by Jack Hurley, Rae Hurley and John Horler, © 2005-2010 Inner Light Society. Posted with permission. To see more cards, go to http://www.innerlightsociety.org/new-tarot.html.