Erotic Dominance Intensive Weekend for Men: Tops & Switches

The Erotic Dominance Intensive weekend for Men Tops & Switches

We will announce soon when this Intensive will be held at the SFCitadel.  Private mentoring is available. Visit for details and contact information.

The line between erotic play and abuse is simple: consent.  Clear communication, honesty, trust. The loving Dominant values the informed consent of each play partner.  Eve Minax and I invite Men interested in exploring their erotic dominance to join us for this interactive Intensive.  Attend alone or bring your partner for a connected and an ultra-intimate experience.  

The Erotic Dominance Intensive for Men Tops and Switches starts at the Meet & Greet Friday evening, September 21 with a lively discussion of what it is to be an ethical Dominant.  Held at the SF Citadel, the layered exercises, seminars and hands on training bring out the authentic Dom within. Harness your beast into a loving Dominant.  All Erotic Dominance Intensive weekends end with a private guided play party with Eve and me for students, partners and volunteers Sunday at the SF Citadel! This workshop is limited to eight students.

Make your scenes hot, fun, daring, intense and memorable!

The Tuition of $1050 single, $1250 couple includes the following:

Friday evening “Meet and Greet” at a private SOMA location.

Group and one-on-one instruction.

Comprehensive workbook

Hands-on skills training in bondage, spanking, flogging and more!

Private guided play party with partners and volunteers.


Please visit our FAQ page. Or email

Ready to Take An Intensive?

Please click here to apply.

Kink in the Country!

cleo NOWBoundless 2016

I will be one of the presenters at Kink in the Country at the second year of Boundless!  Please join me in community for a weekend of relaxation and play September 30-October 2,

Check out the entire line up in the full Boundless 2016 Agenda and get tickets at…/

They are extending a special discount for my friends.  Get 10% off tickets when using the code “CleoFriends”   

Have questions or want to connect with other attendees? Check out the Boundless Fetlife Group.
Boundless 2016 will be held at Saratoga Springs the weekend after Folsom Street Fair

Kinky On The Coast!

unnamedCruise into Pure Pleasure, that awesome Shop in Santa Cruz and join me for

Kinky 101

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

7:00 – 9:30pm  

$25 single adv/$30 walk-in

Intrigued by the potential of adding hot kinky play to your lovemaking? As a Top, do you want to take a willing bottom to new heights of sensation and surrender…and take more sophisticated control over your partner? As a bottom, do you wish to experience familiar sensations in a new and more intense way and to expand your limits of trust? Let your erotic imagination run wild.  Cleo will teach you techniques that will unleash your kinky desires and help you act out your fantasies. Watch hot demos, improvised on the spot!  Cleo will show you how to create safe and consensual erotic power play and will guide you on the road to hotter connections and greater intimacy.  Singles and couples of all orientations welcome. Click here for tickets 

I am a BDSM/kink coach and community player. I’ve been teaching kinksters how to play well with others almost as long as I’ve been playing myself. I created the Academy of SM Arts to dispel the myths surrounding SM and Fetish, helping folks explore their erotic fantasies in a mutually satisfying way. Rooted in leather, my work focuses on connecting heat, heart and spirit.  I have been offering Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensives for 13 years.  This site,, is for the details. For those who prefer private guided play in my peninsula dungeon or want a confidential consultation on skype visit I am very happy to be going back to Pure Pleasure!


Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Women 45+

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Over 45 and feeling passionate? Want more from your life?

Discover new ways to raise that delicious sexual energy that empowers us and our relationships. During October’s Erotic Dominance Intensive for Women 45+, you not only will learn new skills and hone those you have, you will explore the psychology, physicality, sexuality and spirituality of kinky erotic power play with 50 shades of sensations.

We’ll show you how to take charge, using skills like light bondage, spanking, flogging and erotic games of trust and sensation like collaring rituals, and receive the pleasure you desire.  We’ll give you tools you can use to connect your heat and heart in authentic erotic energy exchange.

Who is this Intensive for?

The Erotic Dominance Intensive for you if you are ready to step into your erotic power fully and embody your kinky dominant fantasies!

Attend with a partner or alone.  Cléo’s Academy of SM Arts will have trusted volunteer bottoms on hand!  LGBT welcome.

Join Cléo Dubois and Eve Minax for an empowering weekend of kinky play; your life will never be the same!

What does this Intensive include?

  • Friday evening “Meet and Greet” at a private SOMA location
  • Group and one-on-one instruction
  • Experienced volunteer bottoms
  • Comprehensive workbook
  • Private guided play party (play with a partner or volunteer bottom)
  • Snacks and beverages

How Much does this Intensive Cost?

$600 alone, $900 with a partner

Have Questions?

Please visit our FAQ page.

Ready to Reserve?

Click Here for details.

Click Here to reserve.

Spoken with Cléo?

Click Here to enroll!



Leather and Spice: Beginning the Journey

Leather and Spice: Beginning the Journey

By Marianne Messina and Cleo Dubois

In this interview with Marianne Messina, Cléo Dubois talks about how her personal journey into BDSM began, where to find information when you don’t have a mentor, and how BDSM can help people grow in their erotic relationships. A longer version of this article, aimed at newbies and those who are “kink curious” appeared on in August 2004.

Download PDFDownload a PDF copy of this interview


Marianne Messina (MM): Can you briefly talk about your personal journey with BDSM and maybe what you’ve learned about the variety of options in the BDSM world?

CLÉO DUBOIS: I did not always know that I was kinky. In my 20s I loved to pick an argument with my lover, provoking him to get rough with me and then feel so sorry that he would do anything to please me! Well, that sort of manipulation totally disappeared from my life once I discovered my SM, the link that brought my sexuality into focus. I started to integrate all of the aspects of myself: brat, good girl, submissive, sadist, disciplinarian, mentor, control queen, Domina, mentor, slut, nurturer and ritualist.

Cleo Dubois, with friends, from the early days of her journey into BDSMIn the early 80’s, with the encouragement of a kinky boyfriend, I began exploring the SM frontiers in the San Francisco Leather Community.  These fantasy/mind/body explorations were a powerful venue for my erotic fulfillment and self-discovery; they taught me that negotiated sadomasochism is a valid path to self-discovery, healing and intimacy. It didn’t take me long to realize that I loved bottoming [being the one who submits] as well as topping [being the one who dominates], as long as it was consensual and negotiated.

I joined the first local SM education group, The Society of Janus [], attended all meetings and volunteered for everything: spanking, flogging, bondage, play piercing etc. Once I felt that I knew enough to be a safe player, I became a professional Dominant out of my passion for the Scene.

MM: Say someone’s trying something for the first time — bondage, spanking, whatever — and they don’t have the benefit of a mentor, how can they approach it safely?

CLÉO DUBOIS: First look into your fantasies, and follow your intuition. Decide what you are willing to actualize. So, you want to be a little brat and be spanked by “Daddy,” or you, Mr. Businessman, want to be a lipstick lesbian for the evening, tied up and teased by your girlfriend? If you think that the time is right, bring it up in loving conversation with your partner and listen to their response. If someone paints a picture you don’t feel you fit in, say so. You are the only one who can tell if the idea of doing something kinky turns you on or off. Listen to yourself.

Start slow whether you are the top or the bottom. It is a real good idea to leave your partner wanting just a little more, but it can be devastating for both of you, to hurt him/her by pushing yourself or them, whether you are the bottom wanting more or the top wanting more.

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Getting Started: Ideas for A First Scene

Getting Started: Ideas for A First Scene

BDSM is often referred to as “gourmet sex,” and indeed, you have a large menu of possibilities, some spicier than others, of course!

This article is excerpted from an interview that was originally published on Editor, Marianne Messina, asked Cléo Dubois, “What are some fun, erotic ways to get started in kinky play (BDSM)?”   In response, Ms. Dubois took readers step-by-step through our first scene.  While the scene depicts a Dominant Woman and male bottom, the process will work for everyone.

Negotiation: Figuring Out What You’ll Both Enjoy

The first step is to talk about our fantasies with our partner and negotiate the scene.

  • How will it start?
  • Where will it take place?
  • Will there be role-play?
  • Is it a prelude to sex or not?
  • How do both partners see their fantasies unfolding?

Let’s say that your partner is a man who has always wanted to wear women’s clothes.  The two of you might negotiate a scene where he/she will be a captive forced to dress as a maid and serve the Queen, and you will be the Queen who benevolently dispenses praise for good behavior and spankings for bad.

Select your safewords.   Safewords are words agreed upon in advance by both partners so that the submissive partner can communicate to the dominant partner even while they’re playing a role. Often people use the words “yellow” and “red.” “Yellow” is the submissive’s way to tell his/her partner “slow down, ease off, boundary ahead.” Using this word frees the bottom to say things like “No, no. Stop!” and not really mean them. “Red” means bring the scene to a full stop immediately.

Preparing the Scene

Wooden kitchen implements make great impromptu BDSM toys. Advantages? They're cheap and you can get them in any hardware store!You’ll need a good three or four hours for the whole scene. As the Dominant, you are responsible for designating a play space and instructing your partner on what to wear and how to present to you. Have your toys ready, too. Do not forget to use your hands, and especially your voice. Unplug the phone and set the scene with some low lighting, maybe even some candles, and some sensuous or evocative music.

For this scene, ask your partner to find a frilly apron and some sexy high-heeled shoes. you’ll need candles, a dog collar with a chain – one that fits your bottom’s neck – these can be found at the supermarket as well as in a leather store – maybe some light bondage wrist-cuffs. You’ll also need a sleep mask or blindfold and a piece of nylon rope, not longer than ten feet and not too thin (twine can cut). Look around the kitchen and see what catches your eye. A wooden kitchen spoon makes a great spanking implement, as does a wooden backscratcher if you have one. Find some clothespins to use as nipple clamps. 
If you want a more Victorian feel, play some Mozart! Pick your costume carefully.

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